New Age Marriage

In a country like India, marriage is a necessity than someone's personal choice! Like, how you would need a car for your day to day need, which is not considered to be a luxury but a necessity, similarly, marriage in my country is a necessity and not essentially luxury given to anyone to choose or not to choose whether to get married! Having said that it seems that every child, as soon as he/she is born and breathes the first polluted air of this universe, in my country, specially two things gets automated by the birth. 1) What is he/she is going to become when they grow up and 2) course it's marriage plans lurking inside the brains of the parents! 

This is my story, I have had experienced all the pressure points of my body, when my parents have continued to force me to get married and settle down. Apparently nothing other than marriage means settling down with my family it seems! I guess most of you who are reading this would agree with me on this. I have had my fair share of relationships like any of you, and have had my share of joys and heartaches like any of you. I have been through the roller coaster ride of the teenage period and have also passed by the phase which was stuck between a teenage and a grown up, when I felt am not fitting anywhere. Now I am in a stage where I am suppose to get married, and the only reason is that I am 28 and I need to get married because the age won't allow me later on to settle down!

I don't mean to confuse you. I have a good job, I have good financial background, I am in a good stage of my career, I drive a car (that's a luxury, still in my country, so it's kinda big deal) and I have my own (not rental) house. By the way all the things that I just mentioned won't matter anything because I am not "married" and hence I am still not "settled" according to my parents! So, now do you get it where I come from? Parents love us, but somehow there love always boils down to a certain expectation, which, by the way is always a pressure built by the so called society and the man made rules! Most of the expectations they have till a certain age group of us, still feels genuine, but some of the expectations when they start overriding our expectations and thoughts, due to the generation gap, and not to mention the sheer pressure of the pre historic rules, it becomes a little too much to handle.

My journey started as soon as I accepted the very invitation of my parents that I will marry according to there wish and that I wont be screwing around any more with any other affairs or a list of girls that are not of caste or religion! Yes that is another big thing about being in India and being in one of Middle class traditional Indian Bengali family! Please dont ask in detail now about this. It's generally always traditional about this stuff and how it works is always stereotype. Basically my mom had been trying to jump hoops to get me married and unfortunately any girl that I had liked was never really liked by my mom! It's usual, my mom has been trying to talk to me almost about ever alternate day and I have been always getting irritated with this as most of them were her choice and not someone whom I would like. So at the end of the day, we would end up in a fight or argument or my mom would stray with her melodrama! 

One thing I have learnt all this while, during this phase of searching a bride, that almost every one loves money and everyone wants someone who is extremely well settled and is either working in a government job or is at least earning 10 lacs per annum! No one is apparently getting married for love or for the genuinity of the relationship. In fact they first secure themselves financially and then later convince themselves that they are in love due to the peace of financial stability! I, on the contrary believe that, if someone is to get married, then he/she should look at the possibilities and prospects of one's potentials and not judge anyone based on the current status, which by the way always boils down to financial stability! I have seen couples who have never felt the joy and happiness of the married life they were expecting it to be, once they got married, keeping the financial stone pelted up the ladder! I have seen simple joys and genuine happiness in couples who have got married to each other keeping the financial stability at the later part of there life! Sure, financial stability is extremely important in today's world, but does that have to come as a compulsion to lead a happy life? I am sure the pessimist would agree but I am more of optimist and I believe when two happy people decide to live together, they certainly achieve the financial part of it too! 

I am on my way to search for this belief of mine and see if I am correct! I hope many of you reading this can relate to what am trying to say here and would believe that whatever we decide keeping heart above head, normally works out as a win win situation!