Up's And Down's - A Story!

Life has it's own twists and turns. More of twists than the right turns we make. I am one classic example of gods good humor! So, why do I say that? Well, having working for more than 3 years with an organization, I suddenly realize that I am unable to cope up with the bullshit one throws at me and hence I suddenly make a decision to change my job, or rather quit my job without taking another job in hand. Big mistake! But, one only learns from the stupidest mistakes he makes in his life isn't it? 

It felt like a good thing for me to change the job and also leave the current city I was in as at that time I felt that there was nothing left for me in this city! Again, why do I say that? As I said we tend to make the stupidest mistakes and learn from it! The city had nothing to do with my frustrations and disappointments. I was unnecessarily blaming the city for my own faults. It was my decision and my mistake to blame it on the beautiful city I lived in. Having said that, I anyways chose to leave the city and decided to move to Kolkata! Bang! A new city a new life a new hope suddenly started crawling inside my head like a slow and steady growing parasite!

It seemed like endless opportunities and I felt like I am going to win the world out there once I reach! But who would know what the future holds for anyone. Bags packed! Everything from everywhere stored inside different suitcases and got the tickets to fly to a new land. Did my goodbyes with the select few and I was all set and ready to gobble up the fictitious possibilities that life was giving me an illusion about! While traveling to the airport, was wondering what all I have to face now. Further was thinking if I had made the right decision, if I will get a job, if I will be able to start over with a new city with the same level of competences I had imbibed in me. Lot of questions galloping through my head but with no answers to cater them!

Evening time it was in a hot and humid Kolkata city! I was here! I was in a new big metro! I was here with no clue about how it was going to foster for me! Got down went to the taxi stand got the memo, dumped my bags and off I was traveling through the hustling and bustling sounds of a mega city, on my way to my temporary accommodation at my aunts place! All excited and a little taken aback at the same time with the already juggling insecurities that was constantly deteriorating my mental condition. 

Once I reached my aunts place, everything slowly started sinking in. I was constantly battling with my insecurities and was trying to convince my not so convinced mind, that I had made the right choice. Turns out my mind was right and I was wrong. More on that later on!

It was a weekend and hence I decided to take those two beautiful days off and visit the city for many opportunities that I thought it was about to throw at me. I asked my cousin brother to take me to the area where all the companies were and thought of shortlisting some of them for a busy week of potential interviews that could have given me a moral boost. The best thing about the city was it's transportation cost and the low prices on everything and the best of foods available at almost every corner of the road. So, while mapping the city I found some good companies and started dreaming of making my solid future with one of them in a city which i decided to live in for the near future.

Weekend went good! Weekdays began. Woke up, got dressed. All formals, shoes shining. Files in my bag and all set to catch the ever crowded busses of Kolkata that was going to take me to my destination. I reached the venue in another hour after getting in the bus and went for the first company. Got inside, sat for a couple of hours, waited for a smiling face to come to me and get me interviewed. It finally happened after another couple of hours and not so smiling face took my interview for almost 40 minutes. After finishing it, went back and awaited a call that was told to me, will come in a day or two. The week was almost getting over, and no call came to me. I was convinced that they did not want me. So, started going through all the job portals applied many of them, went personally to many of them, got calls from some, got openings at some but none worked out.

Yes, it was devastating. My mind was winning and I was loosing hopelessly. In desperation, started getting in touch with old buddies back in my old city and most of them gave me a ray of hope and light! I was suddenly drawn to that light and was concurring with my mind, which was constantly pestering me to go back as it wanted me to accept that I had made a wrong decision. So, I listened to it and booked another ticket, came back to my old town. Ray of hope and that flimsy light that I was looking at, suddenly started working out for me. Friends and there support worked for me. I felt comfortable again! Was in agreement with my mind again. For the moment left my heart isolated as I was not in a position to be an emotional attaché! 

Now I again have a job in the same city and in the same surroundings. Everything seemed to start look ok again. I again feel that I can still make it. So it was never the city or never the opportunities, but it was always the decisions, both rational and irrational decisions that probably made me learn a lot and also the abstract teacher called "life" was happy smiling at the corner and I know it was somewhat praising me as well that I made a right choice. 

Make decisions, and never regret them. It will take time to seek security and happiness, but eventually it will be there to embrace you and make you forget the pain. The worst will get over and the beauty of life will blossom again.